That One Demon Beast I Won't Fight
by Soar318
Summary: Dedicated to Soundwave 0107! Seymour the Armogohma is back, and is out for Kirby's blood! How are the three Smashers-Meta Knight, King Dedede, and Kirby-and one Assistant Trophy-Knuckle Joe-going to handle this one "demon beast"? Bumped up the rating.
1. Welcome Back, Seymour!

**Disclaimer: **Kirby and all respective characters do not belong to me. Hoshi no Kaabii, or Kirby Right Back At Ya! also does not belong to me. Seymour the Armogohma belongs to Soundwave 0107.

This story is dedicated to Soundwave 0107, in appreciation of her absolutely _**amazing**_ 183 chapter story _SSBB Oneshots_! Yes, it has gory violence. Yes, it has 18+ stuff in it. Yes, it will mentally scar you for the rest of your life. _**BUT I STILL TOTALLY RECOMMEND IT! **_

Jade: Bold and italicized. Wow, she _really _recommends it... The language used in Dreamland is called Dromish, since Drøm is Norwegian for "dream". English is an entirely separate language, and used in Super Smash Brother Brawl. It'll be indicated when a character speaks in English, by any italicized words, with the exception of any Japanese words.

Fumu=Tiff

Bun=Tuff

Iroo=Spikehead XD

Hohhe=Iroo

Honey=Honey

Escaragon=Escaragoon

Meta Naito Kyou=Sir Meta Knight

Sword and Blade=Sword Knight and Blade Knight

_**That One Demon Beast I Won't Fight**_

By Soar318

It was a peaceful day in Dreamland. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and everything was calm and quiet, especially after Kirby defeated Nightmare. At least, Fumu thought so.

Now that Nightmare was gone, everything was back to normal, except for the little pink puffball that had taken up residence in Pupu Village. Said pink puff was currently out with her younger brother Bun, playing soccer with their friends Iroo, Hohhe, and Honey. Fumu herself was walking through the halls of Castle Dedede, on her way to the library to pick out a book. Unbeknownst to her however, the day was about to get _much_ more hectic.

Suddenly, as she was rounding a corner, she smashed into something, and fell on her bum. Hissing in pain, she stood up and was about to start reprimanding the thing when her eyes widened.

"Meta Naito Kyou! What are you doing? Is something wrong?" Fumu asked, green eyes blinking in confusion and worry. Sir Meta Knight _always_ seemed to know what lay around each corner, and _never_ bumped into something or someone, unless he was distracted. Add that to the fact that his eyes were a tumbling mix of purple, gray, green, and orange, Fumu was _really_ worried.

"Sorry Fumu, but where is Kirby? I have to find him, the matter is extremely urgent," Meta Knight replied, talking so quickly that it took Fumu a few seconds to decipher what he had just said.

"He's at the fields, playing soccer with Bun. Why? Is it another demon beast? Is Nightmare back?" Fumu asked, her voice rising with worry.

"No time! I'll explain everything later!" Even as he was speaking, the knight was sprinting off. Such erratic behavior was extremely uncommon to Meta Knight, and Fumu found herself chasing after him, shouting, "What's going on? Tell me now!"

"No time!" was the answer. The two ran at full speed toward the fields, and on the way was joined by Sword and Blade. Judging from their heavy breathing, the two also had been searching for Kirby, no doubt on their lord's orders.

"Fumu, what (_pant_) is (_wheeze_) going (_pant_) on? Sir (_pant_) Meta (_wheeze_) Knight (_pant_) won't (_pant_) tell (_wheeze_) us!" Sword wheezed out, clutching a stitch in his side.

"I don't _(pant)_ know," Fumu panted, tiring quickly. Glancing ahead, she felt relief give her a small burst of energy; they were almost there!

"Kirby!"

Bun, Kirby, and the children spun around at Meta Knight's yell, leaving the ball to bounce down a hill.

"Nee-chan! Meta Naito Kyou! Sword! Blade! What are you guys doing here?" Bun asked, staring at his panting sister, and the exhausted knights who were sprawled out on the grass, breathing heavily. Walking over to them, he offered a water bottle.

"Thanks, Bun," Blade managed to mumble, before sticking the bottle under the pink mouthpiece and drinking heavily.

"Hey! Don't drink all of it!" Sword demanded, snatching the bottle away and drinking it himself.

Fumu chuckled slightly at the knights' squabbling, before turning her attention to the two Star Warriors. She frowned, and then glanced around; where did everyone else go?

"I heard Sir Meta Knight tell them to go home," Bun offered, seeing his sister's confused look. She nodded, satisfied. But then, her eyes narrowed, then abruptly widened, then narrowed again.

"Fumu? Is something wrong?" Sword asked, tilting his head. He and Blade had finished drinking the remainder of the water, and were now standing next to Bun.

"Yes...I thought I just saw a gold border around Sir Meta Knight's cape. And his shoes seemed to be different for a moment there..." Fumu muttered. "Probably a trick of the light. And did you hear what they're saying?"

Bun frowned in concentration. "It doesn't sound like Dromish..."

"Exactly! Meta Knight's speaking in an entirely language! And Kirby doesn't even understand Dromish yet, let alone an entirely different language!" Fumu cried out, waving her arms in the direction of the puffballs, as if to undermine her point.

Sword and Blade both narrowed their eyes as they gazed at their lord. "You're right... And it looks like Kirby actually understands it!"

"_Nani_?"

As brother and sister watched the two puffballs, they can see that Sword and Blade were correct. Meta Knight was jabbering something frantically, eyes wide and flashing different colors so rapidly that it was making Fumu and Bun slightly sick. Kirby's blue eyes widened in something like horror, and he backed away, shaking his head and wailing over and over again. Meta Knight advanced on his pupil, talking quickly, and it sounded like an order. The pink puff seemed to be on the verge of tears, as he started shaking his head, then nodding, muttering something under his breath. All this time the older knight's shoes were flickering between a more detailed, metallic kind, complete with high heels, and his cape continuously appeared to have a gold streak near the hem, along with a bat- shaped darker patch in the middle, that all flickered between his usual (anime) attire whenever anyone blinked.

Finally, Meta Knight stopped talking, took a deep breath, and let it out in a huge sigh. Tilting his head, he glanced sideways at his confused knaves and the two children. Beckoning to Kirby, the knight strode over to the four, the younger Star Warrior following close.

"Meta Naito Kyou! Where did you learn that language, why and how does Kirby understand it, what is up with your cape and shoes, and how-" Fumu's string of questions was stopped by a single gloved hand.

"I understand that you may be confused. I said that I will explain everything, and I intend to keep my word. In fact, I will explain it to all of you right now," Meta Knight began. He hesitated slightly, mainly due to the fact that Kirby had clung onto his cape tightly in fear, and then started his explanation.

_**Flashback **_

It all began in the throne room. King Dedede and Escaragon were fiddling around with the demon transporter, wondering whether or not it could work again. Meta Knight was hiding in the shadows behind a column, watching them.

"Life's been so boring ever since Kirby destroyed Nightmare!" Dedede complained, plopping down on his throne. "Now I can't order any more demon beasts!"

Suddenly, the screen flickered on, causing both the pengi and the snail to scream and cling onto each other. However, it was only Customer Service, with his hair messed up and suit torn. His usually shining orange shades were dull, and the usual HNM backdrop was replaced by black.

"Hello, Your Majesty! And Your Excellency!" Customer Service struggled to pull up his usual fake smile, but only managed a slight quirk of his lips. "How is it going?"

"Customer Service!" Dedede roared, taking his anger out on Escaragon. "Don't you scare us like that! I thought you were destroyed!"

"I was part of the few _majuu_ who managed to escape," Customer Service replied, shrugging slightly. "At any rate, we cannot sell you any more demon beasts, seeing as the majority was destroyed. However, we can sell you one last thing, _if _you pay your bills beforehand."

"Oh yeah? And what if it's a scam?" Escaragon demanded, rubbing his head where Dedede had smashed him.

"Then we'll show you the product."

The camera turned to a patch of darkness that looked like any other patch. At least, it did, until Customer Service lit a torch. As they gazed upon the "product", both king and lackey gasped.

The spider was _**massive**_.

It was easily the size of Giga Bowser (compared to Kirby). It was a stone gray, with odd symbols and designs etched onto its legs and head. The abdomen was a grayish-brown, laced with horizontal stripes. Four tiny, pale yellow eyes stared at the screen. Behind its head, in the spider's joint between its head and abdomen, was a large red collar. Attached to it was a metal tag with the name "Seymour" printed across it. But the most unsettling thing about the arachnid was the single large, bloodshot orange eye glaring at the screen.

As soon as the thing saw the penguin king and the snail, it started thrashing against the hundreds of thick chains wrapped around its body. The demon beasts on either side of it scrambled away madly, but not before one stuck a needle into it, injecting a bright purple liquid. Immediately, the spider stopped thrashing, all five eyes closing.

"Well? What do you think?" Customer Service turned back to the screen, smirking. The sight at which he was greeted with nearly made him laugh his head off.

Escaragon was standing right where he was, eyes huge, shell-shocked. (Bad pun, sorry...) But it was _nothing_ compared to Dedede's reaction.

The pengi king was hiding behind his throne, a look of sheer terror on his face. All the color had drained out of his face, and he clutched the backseat in a white-knuckled grip. His usually malicious eyes contained absolute horror.

Customer Service's smirk grew wider as he gazed at the king's reaction. Turning his eyes away from the completely _petrified_ pengi, he observed Meta Knight's reaction, who was now visible from behind the column.

Said knight's eyes were nearly black, even though it was technically a _very_ deep gray, indicating that he was at the very top of his terror meter. His deep blue skin had turned into an ashy bluish-gray, and the puffball was visibly shaking. The knight had backed away from the screen until his back was pressed against the wall, where he currently cowered.

This kind of reaction from the normally stoic Star Warrior was _extremely_ rare, only happening once every ten thousand years or so. This most certainly made Customer Service's day. Turning back to the king and his lackey, he finally managed to put on his usual fake smile, and asked sweetly, "Well? Do you like it?"

Swallowing, the blue pengi lifted his head ever so slightly, and managed to stutter out, "N-n-no t-t-thanks, I-I'll p-p-pass-"

"_Heika_, are you kidding me? This would get rid of Kirby for sure!" Escaragon cried out in excitement. Turning to a grinning Customer Service, he said loudly, "It's a deal!"

"_Excellent_. Just plop some money on the transporter, and we'll send it over at sunset!" was the happy reply. Escaragon frowned.

"Why sunset? Can't you send it now?" he demanded, eyes narrowing.

"Unfortunately, the seducing potion will only wear off when the sun goes down. Until then, the spider will be asleep. But don't worry, we'll send you a heads-up beforehand. Oh, and I'm personally visiting tomorrow, since there is a 'code' that is needed to be said before you can put the spider into action. Now, the money please?"

"Oh, alright. Waddle Dees!" A troop of small scarlet and peach creatures poked their heads into the throne room. "Get some bags from his Majesty's safe!" Nodding, the Waddle Dees scurried off, returning only moments later by twos, each pair carrying a large bag that jingled merrily for every step they took. How they knew the secret code to access the safe, no one knew, and no one bothered to ask. After heaving the heavy packs onto the transporter, a bright flash accompanied by electricity blinded the throne room's occupants, before revealing that the gold had been transported.

"Nice doing business with you!" and with that, the screen flickered off.

Grinning, Escaragon turned to the still-cowering pengi king. "Just think about it! Now we can get rid of Kirby once and for all!" Humming delightedly to himself, the snail happily skipped through the doors of the throne room, intending to find his book on botany, never noticing how afraid the king was, nor the fact that the small knight had quietly crept over to the throne, eyes still a dark gray, though less so.

"_Heika_."

The dictator's head flew around to stare at the puffball crouched behind the throne next to him. He blinked. Was that...?

"_What is it?_" he murmured quietly, glancing at the closed door of the throne room. Not that anyone could have understood him, but the pengi was taking no chances.

"_Kirby does not deserve such a fate. What should we do?_"

"_Does Zelda know?_"

"_I don't know. There hasn't been any communication between Hyrule and Dreamland._"

"_How about having Knuckle Joe send a message?_"

"_Since Seymour is in our universe, it should be safe..._"

"_Until then, what are we going to do?_"

"_We're going to have to distract him._"

"_**DISTRACT him**__?_"

"_Keep your voice down! Yes, we are. I've got extra trophy stands in my cape in case one of us...well, you know._"

"_All right, it's worth a try; I guess...At least it's less dangerous than spitting on the floor in the Mansion._"

"_Surely you do not want Kirby to die?_"

"_No! Lucas was bad enough..._"

"_Very well. I'll find Kirby and explain things to him. Perhaps I'd better alert the children too..._"

"_Got it. Good luck. I'll contact Joe. Don't tell anyone that we're you-know-what!_"

"_Same to you. I'm already one of the most wanted in the galaxy, dead or alive. I'm not risking it._"

And with that, Meta Knight stood up, and swept out of the throne room, giving no indication that he had had a talk with King Dedede.

_**Present **_

"...And you know what happened next. I told Sword and Blade to find Kirby, and here we are," finished Meta Knight. Admittedly, he had left out the secret conversation, but since Smashers were _the_ most wanted in all universes, due to them being the very best fighters in their own universe. Even being an Assistant Trophy was quite the accomplishment. He had thought it best - everyone had thought it best - that they would tell no one. They had secret ways of communicating across universes, but they were, of course, secret.

Glancing sideways, he was somewhat..._upset_ to see that Kirby had started crying silently. His fatherly-instincts took over, and he gently pulled his cape away before wrapping it around the pink creampuff. Blinking, the child clung onto the fabric, leaning slightly against his mentor. Kirby may be a Smasher, but that didn't mean he wasn't afraid of anything.

"I don't see what's to worry about," Fumu muttered, after thinking for a moment. "I mean, it's just a demon beast, right? And Kirby's never failed to beat a demon beast before." Bun, Sword, and Blade nodded in agreement.

"Very true, but had Seymour been a demon beast, I wouldn't have searched the castle from top to bottom to alert Kirby," Meta Knight replied quietly, glancing up at the sky with light gray eyes. '_The sun is about to set. I'd better hurry._'

"Seymour's not a demon beast?" Blade questioned in alarm. "Then what is it?"

"It - He's an Armogohma. But I don't have much time for explanations right now. Seymour's due to arrive soon. Sword! Blade!" The two knaves jumped at the bark.

"_H-hai_!"

"I want you to protect the village entrance. If Seymour tries to wreak havoc in there, he could very easily kill someone. If you see him, try to slow him down. Fumu, Bun, I want you to get as much chocolate chip cookies as you can. It's going to be important."

"How is that important?" Bun demanded, staring at the blue knight as Sword and Blade rushed off. "What's a jar of chocolate chip cookies going to do?"

"No time to-" Meta Knight was abruptly cut off by Fumu.

"No! You're going to tell us right now! What's an Armogohma, why are you, Dedede, and Kirby so afraid of it, what does chocolate chip cookies have to do with-"

Suddenly, Kirby let out a high-pitched wail of terror that effectively drowned out Fumu's questions. But it wasn't enough to cover the loud, crashes coming from the castle, or the inhuman screech of rage that abruptly sounded. Meta Knight's eyes immediately flashed a horrified deep gray upon hearing the noise.

"_He's here!_"

...

_**Some time ago...**_

After Meta Knight left, King Dedede plopped himself back on his throne. Glancing around nervously, the dictator tapped a code into the buttons on his armrest. Immediately, a five feet thick soundproof mix of steel and diamond covering encased the entire room from floor to ceiling. He wasn't taking any chances.

Reaching a gold-gloved hand under his robes, Dedede pulled out what seemed like an icy blue, transparent rectangle hovering in the air. Reaching up, he enlarged the rectangle by spreading his fingers - much like what you would do to enlarge something on the iPad or something with a touch screen. As soon as the rectangle was the proper size, the pengi pressed his hand to the screen. A set of transparent keyboards, matching in color to the screen, appeared out of nowhere. Tapping in a code, the dictator watched the screen carefully. A symbol appeared on the screen: a circle with a vertical and horizontal line crossing through it, the two lines making a cross at the bottom left part of the circle, the entire thing shimmering with rainbow colors. The symbol of Super Smash Brothers.

Still typing, Dedede narrowed his eyes, then touched the screen, choosing something. Two selection buttons popped up. Dedede chose the one on the left. A smaller version of the symbol of Super Smash Bros. started turning at the bottom right hand corner, like the loading screen. A single word flashed over and over in the middle of the rectangle.

_Connecting... _

_Connecting..._

_Connecting..._

_Connection established. Video or radio?_

Dedede touched the "video" button.

_Starting video..._

Suddenly, the clear blue screen disappeared, to be replaced by a picture of a grinning boy with spiky blond hair and a white and red headband. He wore a brown and gold locket and plain white gloves.

"_Hey Dedede! What's up? Haven't heard from Popstar for a while!_" the boy grinned, effortlessly slipping into the language of the Smashers (English).

"_Knuckle Joe_." The king nodded slightly. Now was not the time for idle talk. Quickly, he explained the situation to Joe.

"_Uh-oh. You people are really in trouble right now. But why are you telling me of all people_?" Knuckle Joe questioned, frowning.

"_We need you to alert Zelda immediately. Seymour's coming at sunset in Popstar time. We only have a couple hours at best. Meta Knight is alerting Kirby right now._"

"_What about Fumu and Bun? And Escaragon?_"

"_Meta Knight's alerting them too. Escaragon thinks that Seymour is another one of the escaped _majuu_._" The pengi snorted. "_If Seymour was an actual demon beast, I would have bought him ages ago!_"

"_True. Alright, I'll contact Zelda. What should I tell her? And do you know where the escaped demon beasts are? I'm sure Sir Arthur would like a little chat with them,_" Knuckle Joe replied, looking rather mischievous.

"_Tell her that Seymour's on the loose in Popstar, Dreamland, and that she can connect to the demon beast transmitter in my throne room,_" Dedede recited. "_I couldn't see much, but it looked like they were in a cave._"

"_Gotcha! I'll tell Arthur-_"

"_Zelda first!_"

"_Oh yeah. Well, see ya later, Dedede! And say hi to MK and Kirby for me next time you see them! If they're still in one piece, anyway._" Both the king and the demon hunter winced, out of the gruesome image in their minds' eye. Then the video message disappeared, to be replaced by the blue rectangle. Sighing, Dedede shut the screen off, and disabled the steel-and-diamond covering. Jumping off his throne, the dictator stalked out of the throne room, determined to catch a nap before sundown.

...

_**A couple hours later...**_

"_Heika_! _Heika_!"

Dedede blinked woozily as he felt something - or rather, someone - shaking him and yelling.

"_Nani_?"

"_Heika_! Wake up! The delivery's about to arrive! Wake up!"

"What delivery?"

"You know, Seymour!"

Immediately, the king bolted upright, eyes wide and all the blood draining out of his face. '_Oh no, I forgot. Seymour's here_!'

Dressing and getting to the throne room in less than a minute completely shocked Escaragon, but it didn't matter anyway, since the transmitter was already sparking and glowing by the time they got there.

With a final bright flash, the now fully alert - and angry - Armogohma was teleported onto the platform, with Customer Service riding on top of him. Grinning in a slightly maniacal way, the sales guy jumped down from Seymour's back, clutching a large remote with a single red button on it.

"Hello, King Dedede! And Escaragon too!" Customer Service grinned, leaning slightly against the transporter, not noticing the way that Seymour was staring at Dedede. However, he _did_ notice Dedede backing out of the throne room and into the hallway, whimpering. Escaragon took no notice, but simply gave him a nasty glare.

"Took you long enough, shorty," he growled impatiently, then glanced at the giant spider with a slightly nervous look. "Will you be able to control that thing? Every past demon beasts messed up the castle at one point or another, because you couldn't control them! Do you know how much it costs to fix up a single tower? Doesn't Holy Nightmare care about the well-being of their customers?"

Customer Service simply smiled as he listened absentmindedly to the snail's rant. "Believe me; we _do_ care about our customers. It's just that our products are simply rather hard to control in the first place. Now then, how about bringing the king in and I'll show you the might of our dear little arachnid here?"

"Fine, fine..." Escaragon muttered, as he dragged the petrified king back into the room.

"Excellent."

Turning around to face the Armogohma, who glared at him hatefully with all five of his eyes, Customer Service said loudly and clearly, "Hey, Seymour! I've got a bit of information for you!"

Seymour's orange eye blinked, confused.

"You see, we have solved the problem of why we cannot give you chocolate chip cookies!"

At the mention of chocolate chip cookies, the alert spider became, if possible, even more alert, the large orange eye no longer blinking or glaring, but fixed on the purple-haired midget in front of him with a surprisingly intelligent stare. However, at the mention of cookies, Dedede immediately froze up in horror. '_No, no, no, no, they couldn't have found out about __**that**__..._' Carefully, the dictator started inching toward the only door, wanting to get out of the room immediately.

"Do you want to know _why_ we cannot give you chocolate chip cookies?" Customer service asked sweetly, tilting his head at Seymour. The spider gazed at him for a moment, then gave what was unmistakably a nod. Dedede started to creep faster toward the door, now desperate to get out of there, before Seymour hears it...

"Well then, I'll tell you." Customer Service took a deep breath, and then, shouted out,

"**KIRBY TOOK YOUR COOKIES!**"

The response was instantaneous. The Armogohma reared up onto his back four legs, and let out a horrible, piercing screech, sounding as far from human as an arachnid can go. Slamming down so hard onto his front legs that the transporter cracked and bent, Seymour charged at the door, the king and the lackey diving out of the way. The spider smashed through the wall, and simply leapt from the balcony, orange eye bloodshot in rage. Landing with a horrible crash in the courtyard, Seymour crawled, surprisingly quickly; out of the hole it made in his landing, and immediately scuttled across the drawbridge and headed to the town, or more accurately, the small hills beside the town.

Turning to his audience, Customer Service was pleased to see that both of them were completely shocked at this display of power. Smirking happily, the sales guy turned back to the hole in the wall that the Armogohma had made, and muttered quietly to himself, in completely different voice, one that held evil and promised despair:

"_Kirby, you are going to pay..._"

_**To be continued...**_

__Nani=what

Heika=your majesty

Hai=Yes sir (?)

**Meta Knight's eye colors**

Green=thoughtful, solving a problem

Purple=confusion

Gray=terror, horror, etc. (The deeper the color, the more intense the feeling)

Orange=shock, suprise

**The full list is on my profile!**


	2. Bye Again!

**Disclaimer:**You all know who belongs to what... except Seymour the Armogohma. He belongs to Soundwave 0107. Sorry for the gender mess-up!

Foxpilot: Thank you so much for the review! I definitely agree with Knuckle Joe being largely bodiless, but I didn't know what to put for his blue clothing. A jumpsuit, perhaps? I don't know. I've taken into account the comment you made about the Japanese, and have decided not to put anymore in this story. However, I will be putting some in other Kirby stories. Hopefully, you'll like this chapter, and please review! I love with when someone points out what I could do to make my writing better!

...

"_He's__ here!_"

Fumu's eyes immediately widened as she whirled around to try to catch a glimpse of the screeching "Armogohma" that sounded surprisingly close. Bun rose up onto the tips of his toes to struggle futilely to peer over the top of the next hill. Feeling annoyed that they couldn't see anything, the two children started off to climb up the hill.

"**NO**!"

Abruptly, brother and sister whipped their heads around to gaze in amazement and shock at Meta Knight. Never, ever, _ever_, have they heard so much desperation and dread in his voice, not even when he had begged Sword and Blade to protect Kirby at all costs. Staring at the knight, they could see him visibly shaking in terror. This wasn't the Meta Knight they knew. The Meta Knight they knew would probably also have ordered them to stay away, but in a firm, yet calm way, standing tall with no visible signs of fear. The blue puffball in front of them seemed like a new soldier in his first battle, not at all like a general with thousands of years of experience.

As the two watched, Meta Knight's stormy gray eyes met their own, and, seemingly like he had read their confused and slightly disdainful thoughts, he suddenly turned to dash away, parallel to the town, leaving Kirby behind to stand alone. The pink creampuff suddenly let out a thin wail, burying his face into his paws, as another inhuman screech sounded even closer.

"That Meta Knight! Running off to save his own hide while leaving Kirby with no copy ability!" Fumu snarled, as she raced back to Kirby to try to comfort him. Bun followed, nodding agreement. Reaching the despairing puffball, Fumu gently wrapped her arms around him in a hug.

"It's alright, Kirby. You're with us. We won't leave you," she murmured quietly, hoping that it would calm the small child down. Bun grinned and added in what he hoped was a reassuring way,

"Yeah, we're not leaving you like Meta Knight!"

But these words provoked Kirby instead of soothing him, and he made this known by tearing away from Fumu's hug, and pointing off to where said knight had ran.

"Poyo, poy, poyo, popoyo!" he cried out, glaring fiercely in defense of his mentor. "Poyo po!"

Fumu and Bun could only stare at him, not understanding his strange language. "Um, what do you mean?"

To their surprise, instead of running off to deal with it on his own and leaving them behind, Kirby simply sighed in exasperation and twisted his face up, as he struggled to construct a sentence that they can understand, while a screech, this time sounding worryingly triumphant, sounded out.

"L...l...loo...look...ov...ove...over...th...the...there," Kirby said clumsily, struggling to convey his message. Where _were_ those random waves that allowed him to speak fluently when he needed them? Mentally cursing the fact that he still couldn't speak properly, the small puff continued to point toward the direction where Meta Knight had ran. Finally getting the message, the two children looked up, and let out simultaneous screams of horror. Whipping around, Kirby's eyes widened.

"**NO!**"

_**Before...**_

The king, the adviser, and the salesman were driving through the streets wildly, barely missing the occasional Cappy as Escaragon wrestled with the steering wheel while still keeping his foot (?) pressed flat to the accelerator. Their postures were as different as night and day.

Customer Service was sitting as calmly as one can while being in a manically driven car. He was even twiddling his thumbs and softly humming. Dedede, on the other hand, was extremely pale and twitchy, though not from his lackey's reckless driving, and kept glancing from side-to-side. Said lackey currently had his face screwed up in a grimace of concentration, struggling to keep up with Seymour, who was scurrying at an even faster rate, parallel to the village, now that he had "caught the scent", as Customer Service had put it.

Now they were out of the village, and, looking ahead, saw that Seymour was much farther then they had thought. Dedede shrank into his seat, whimpering slightly after catching sight of the Armogohma. Surprisingly, they also saw two armored figures, one half-carrying, half-dragging the other, running ahead of the enraged Armogohma, the slumped one streaming red liquid behind him. Apparently, Seymour was on a chase. And he wasn't chasing any pink marshmallows.

"**SEYMOUR!**" Customer Service roared, actually managing to stand up in his seat while still maintaining balance, a feat he accomplished by grabbing onto Dedede's trademark beanie/crown. "**STOP ****THIS**** INSOLENT ****CHASE**** AT ****ONCE!**"

But the Armogohma completely ignored Customer Service, and continued chasing the two armored figures.

Peering ahead, Dedede let out a shout, somewhat high-pitched in terror. The two people were actually Blade dragging Sword! Raising his voice, he bellowed out in the same high-pitched voice:

"SWORD! BLADE! STAY OUT OF THIS! THIS IS NOT YOUR FIGHT!"

Suddenly, the huge spider let out a triumphant shriek, and leaped into the air. However, its target wasn't its prey. Rather, it was a small blue, gray, and purple ball dashing perpendicular to the oncoming spider and knaves.

"**NO!**"

The horrible cry rang from four people at once; Blade, Dedede, Sword, who had been startled awake by the king's yell, and Kirby. But it was too late; Seymour crashed onto Meta Knight with a deafening screech. The knight was lucky that he didn't break all his bones under the impact; the natural softness of his and Kirby's species along with his armor protected him, even though the latter became horribly dented.

But Meta Knight certainly didn't feel very lucky as Seymour grabbed him in a choking grip and threw him up into the sky. From up here, he could clearly see Fumu and Bun running over to Sword and Blade, who were crouching next to the parked car of Dedede. The king, Escaragon, and Customer Service were all staring up at him in shock, horror, and, in the latter's case, amusement. Meta Knight couldn't see Kirby anywhere, which was good.

As gravity gradually regained its hold on him, the knight weighed his chances. He could either fly off, or he could let Seymour grab him and very likely tear out his organs. While he very much liked option number one, he knew he had to distract Seymour from trying to find Kirby. So, he regretfully chose option two, and prayed to the stars that were just twinkling into existence in the sky that Knuckle Joe or Zelda would arrive in time to take him to Doctor Mario, before he turns into a trophy and reveals his secret.

Abruptly, Seymour's front two legs snatched him out of the air, and then slammed him with so much force against the ground that he nearly blacked out. Weakly opening his eyes, the trapped puffball immediately wished he hadn't. Staring into four milky-looking eyes, bloodshot from rage, Meta Knight felt like he was either going to scream or faint, Top Tier or not.

Leaning in close, Seymour clicked with his mandibles, while hissing hoarsely in between the certain clicks. The knight blinked, confusion momentarily taking the edge off his terror. Why would Seymour _hiss_? "What?"

Again, Seymour clicked with his mandibles and hissed, this time sounding more insistent. Listening carefully, Meta Knight could just make out a pattern. _A__ click,__ a__ hiss,__ another__ hiss,__ five__ more __clicks..._

_Where is Kirby?_

Meta Knight opened his mouth to reply harshly, but found that he had barely enough air to breathe, let alone talk, due to Seymour's weight pressing down on him. Struggling to draw breath, he could only let out a small, pitiful squeak. Anymore, and he wouldn't be able to-!

Suddenly, all five of the Armogohma's eyes widened, and he reared up, screeching in pain. Meta Knight quickly rolled out of the way, took a deep breath of air, and dashed over to the parked car, the king, his lackey, the two children, his knaves, and the salesman, the latter glaring angrily at something behind him.

Running over, the knight was shocked to see blood running out of Sword's armor, where his arm was. Fumu and Blade were attempting to stop the flow, while Bun was looking pointedly over his shoulder. Both the girl and the knave looked rather frantic, and the former also rather sick. Grimacing in faint disgust, Meta Knight observed that Sword's right arm had apparently been ripped out of its socket, hence the blood gushing out of his armor. The knave himself looked only half-conscious, his head lolling to the side. Behind Meta Knight, a screech and a _hi-ya!_ could be heard, indicating that the rescuer was currently fighting Seymour, even if the yell sounded noticeably high-pitched.

Glancing to the side to see if anyone was watching, Meta Knight crouched down beside Sword and rummaged around in the infinite depths of his cape, Fumu and Blade looking up curiously. The knight tugged on something, then produced a bright orange tomato, with a large, black "M" printed on both sides. Carefully tipping Sword's head back, the puffball simply stuffed it down his knave's throat.

Abruptly the bleeding stopped, and Sword jerked fully awake. He gasped out, then sat bolt upright, seeing his lord.

"Sir! I'm so sorry, that giant spider was headed straight for the town and Blade and I tried to drive it off but it grabbed me and ripped my arm off-"

"We barely got away in time," Blade agreed.

"It's alright," Meta Knight murmured quietly. Standing up, he looked over the car to find Kirby hiding behind it. Seeing his mentor safe, the child grinned delightedly, then hopped over the car to duck happily under the knight's cape.

Suddenly, a metallic clang sounded, followed by a triumphant screech from Seymour. Immediately, everyone whipped their heads around, save for King Dedede, Escaragon, and Customer Service, who had already been watching. The sight made them gasp aloud in shock.

Seymour was creeping toward the rescuer, eyes gleaming in a twisted version of playfulness. The rescuer was a tall, human boy, with fair blond hair with sharp blue eyes. Two pointy elf ears protruded out from under a forest green, triangular hat. He wore a matching tunic, white leggings, and brown boots. On his back he carried a sheath, secured by a belt. Lying a few feet away was a bloody sword with a purple hilt and a bright blue shield with intricate designs on it.

Currently, the boy was crawling away on his back, his face a mask of desperation. Immediately guessing what was about to happen, Kirby and Meta Knight shoved Fumu, Bun, Sword, and Blade behind the car, disregarding Sword's howl of pain. Dedede did the same, except with Escaragon and Customer Service. And not a second too soon.

_Seymour __pounced_.

Screams of pain ripped into the peaceful night sky as the Armogohma decided to have a little fun. Organs flew everywhere; blood spurted out, as the screams escalated steadily. Behind the car, Fumu, Blade, Escaragon, and Customer Service immediately clapped their hands to their ears, desperately trying to shut the horrible sounds. Sword and Bun, the former having recovered from the rough handling, sat up and tried to peek over the hood to catch a glimpse of the gory scene, but was abruptly stepped on by Meta Knight, who was standing on the hood and not even looking at them.

"_Should__ we __help __him?_" Meta Knight whispered quietly, watching Seymour tear the boy apart with a vague interest.

"_Naw...unless__ you __want__ to__ be __ripped __apart,_" Dedede hissed back, glancing behind the car to check whether Sword and Bun have decided to look again, and was satisfied to see that the two were nursing their poor heads. "_Your__ metal__ shoes __are__ pretty__ sharp,__ you __know.__ You__ could __have __hurt__ them._"

"Poyo poy po poyoyo poy," Kirby murmured, watching the organs carefully. Tilting his head, he tugged on his mentor's cape and pointed to a particularly bloody one that Seymour had just torn out. "Poyo poy po?"

"_I __think__ that's __the __liver_," Meta Knight replied, after observing the gory thing for a moment. "_And __you're__ right.__ Their__ skulls__** are **__pretty__ thick,__ and__ Sword's __helmet__ should__ have__ protected__ him__ well__ enough._"

"Poyo po poy," Kirby said, after a moment. "Poy poyo po poy?"

"_I'd __like __to __see__ you __try.__ We__ don't __have __any __cloning__ machines__ on __hand__ at__ the __moment __though,_" Meta Knight hissed. "_And__ yes,__ that's__ a __lung._" He gestured at an oozing hunk that was a nasty shade of red. "_Why__ do__ you__ want __to__ know?_"

"Poyo poyo popoyo poy."

"_First__ of__ all,__ Yoshi__ is__ a __**dinosaur**__, __and__ second__ of __all,__ our__ species__ do__** not**__ eat __raw__ meat.__ It__ gives __us__ horrible__ indigestion__ that__ prevents__ us __from__ inhaling__ for__ about __a __month.__ And__ it__ keeps__ us __in__ the __bathroom __for __about __a__ week.__ Straight._"

"Poy. Poyo poy..."

"_What__ did__ he__ say?_" Dedede questioned, looking at Kirby, who had turned a faint shade of green.

"_Believe__ me;__ you__ don't__ want__ to__ know-_"

"_Seymour!__ No!__ Bad__ boy!__ Drop__ that__ kidney __right __now!_"

"**YES!**" All three Smashers cheered, relieved, as they watched a certain princess stride across the grass with a certain demon beast hunter at her side. Seeing his old friends, Assistant Trophy Knuckle Joe changed direction and jogged over to them.

"Hi, Kirby! Hey, Meta Knight!" Joe proclaimed happily as Kirby darted over to give him a hi-five. "And gramps number one is here too, I see! Where is gramps number two?" he teased playfully.

"Hey, I'm not that old-" Escaragon shot out from behind the car to shout angrily at Joe, but one look at the corpse lying on the grass and he fainted dead away. The five others scrambled out, and three of them nearly threw up at the sight.

"Who's **that**?" Bun managed to choke out shakily.

"Who? The dude torn apart?" Knuckle Joe asked absentmindedly, with just a faint wince. "That's Link of Hyrule. You wouldn't know him."

"No, the princess!"

"Oh, that's Princess Zelda. Seymour's her pet, believe it or not."

"Her _pet_?"

"Yup," Knuckle Joe confirmed, while rubbing the area where his nose would be. Turning, everyone watched in astonishment as the princess stomped up to Seymour and began yelling at him, while the giant Armogohma actually cringed at her words.

"_You__ are__ one __bad,__ bad__ spider,__ you __hear__ me?__A__ bad,__ bad__ spider!__ Don't__ you__ ever,__ ever__ run__ away__ from__ Hyrule__ ever__ again!__ I__ was__ worried__ sick!_" Zelda scolded angrily. Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, the princess reached up and lightly stroked the giant spider's mandibles, who was actually shaking from her words.

"_There,__ there_," she cooed. "_Now,__ no __more __running__ away __from__ home.__ Or__ else__ no__ more __bedtime__ hugs,__ you __hear__ me?__ Oh,__and__ no __more __killing __Link,__ or __trying__ to__ kill__ Meta__ Knight.__ What__ would__ Samus__ say__ if__ she __found __out__ you__ dissected__ him?_"

Fumu couldn't help but wonder why Meta Knight suddenly ducked his head, eyes an embarrassed pink, while Dedede, Kirby, and Knuckle Joe sniggered. Lifting his head, the knight glared at the two younger ones, while he made a point about stepping on the king's own head on his way to talk with Zelda. Wrapping his cape tightly around himself, and not even glancing at Link's corpse, Meta Knight walked up to the princess and gave a respectful bow, though he still kept a noticeable distance from Seymour.

"_Hello, __Zelda_," the puffball greeted her. "_I'm__ glad__ to __see __that__ you're __here.__ Seymour__ was__ getting__ a__ little,__ um,__ out__ of __control._"

"_Oh,__ don't __worry,__MK_," Zelda giggled. "_I've __got__ everything __under __control__ now.__ Would__ you __just__ pick__ Link __up?__ I'll__ send__ him __to__ Doctor __Mario __as__ soon __as __I__ get__ Seymour __here __back __to__ Hyrule._" She patted the Armogohma's mandibles. "_Isn't__ that__ right,__ Seymour?_"

The giant spider clicked his huge mandibles happily in agreement, while nearly crushing Zelda's arm at the same time, but she didn't notice.

Sighing, the knight stepped over to the mangled corpse of the Hero of Time, and gingerly prodded him with Galaxia. Pulling a large sack from his cape, Meta Knight used his legendary sword to hook onto Link's bloodstained clothing, and unceremoniously dumped him into the sack. Carefully tying a knot at the top completely disregarding the rest of the organs lying around, the blue puffball tossed the sack at Zelda, and Seymour caught it easily with his mandibles. One look from the princess ensured that he wasn't going to have a snack anytime soon, though.

The rest of the company carefully picked their way across the bloody grass, and Sword very, very cautiously inched his way over to the princess and the Armogohma.

"T-t-this is for, um, Seymour," he stammered, holding up the jar of chocolate chip cookies he and Blade had taken from the store, just in case.

Zelda only stared at him for a moment with a raised eyebrow, before looking pointedly at Meta Knight, who was eyeing a rather green Customer Service. Feeling the princess's gaze on him, the knight wandered over.

"_What_?"

Zelda gestured to a very confused Sword. "_He __said __something,__ and __I __can't__ understand__ it.__ And __I__ think __it'll__ be__ best__ if__ I__ also __take__ him__ to __Doctor__ Mario.__ That __wound__ looks __nasty_."

Meta Knight turned to his knave. "Zelda said that you told her something?"

Sword nodded, and repeated what he said, and the puffball translated it for Zelda. Hearing that, the princess smiled happily, and scooped up the cookies, with a quick "_Thank __you__ so__ much_!" to the knave. Turning to an excited Seymour, she began to feed to cookies to him. Shaking his head, Meta Knight turned back to his knave.

"Zelda says that you should go with her to see Doctor Mario. And I agree. We wouldn't be able to patch your arm up here."

Sword didn't know who Doctor Mario is, and personally thought that there wasn't much of a chance of him even _having_ a right arm anymore, but he would do as his lord commands.

Suddenly, a loud scream of frustration sounded from behind them, causing everybody to whirl around in shock. It had come from Customer Service.

The sales guy let out another shriek, and to the horror of all, his gray skin started sloughing away, revealing a flat black texture underneath. As everything began to melt off, the _thing_ started to screech, though desperately.

"_NO! __NO!__ HOW__ COULD__ THIS __BE__ POSSIBLE?__ YOU__ HAVE __ALL__ CONDEMNED__ ME__ TO__ ETERNAL__ TORTURE!__ NO!__ NO-EEP!__ N-EEP!__ BEEP!__ BEEP!_"

Everyone's jaws dropped as the thing underneath revealed itself as little, black, featureless, _2-D_ man, who was continuously beeping in a monotone voice.

"_Mr.__Game__&__Watch_?" The Smashers and Assistant Trophy stammered in shock.

"Beep!"

"_But...how?__How?__You __were__ destroyed__ by __that__ bomb_!" Zelda cried out.

"Beep!"

Suddenly, a small, dark purple portal opened up like an eye right above Mr. G&W. Looking through the portal, they could see dark, cloud-like substance swirling, while random streaks of lighter shades of purple mixed and separated in the dark substance. All this became obscured, though, when a massive black tentacle-like limb with claws of obsidian reached through the portal, and snatched up the 2-D man. Beeping frantically, Mr. G&W struggled futilely to free himself.

(Translation for Mr. G&W's beeps) "_**SHIT**__**SHIT**__**SHIT**__**SHIT**__**SHI-**_"

And the portal closed, cutting off the ex-Smasher's beeping. Everybody could only stare at the place where the portal had been, before Meta Knight squeaked into the silence.

"_So __**that's **__where__ he __was_."

Feeling very nervous, everyone backed away, and all mentally promised that they will never, ever come to this field without always looking behind them to see if a portal was opening.

Seymour gently tugged on Zelda's hair, indicating that it was very late, and they should go back to Hyrule and to Doctor Mario. Blinking, the princess turned and walked off quietly, with Seymour in tow. Seeing the two leave, Meta Knight quickly whispered a good-bye to Knuckle Joe, and, collecting Kirby and Sword on the way, joined Zelda and Seymour on their trip.

Suddenly, the quiet night air was pierced by a loud yell from Fumu, who ran to catch up, stumbling over an oozing hunk of brain, much to her disgust. She started walking beside the two puffballs, and began spouting question after question, all aimed at the unfortunate Meta Knight.

"What was that, who was that, where did that thing come from, where are you going, why is Sword and Kirby going with you, what are you going to with all these disgusting organs, what..."

Ducking under his mentor's cape once again to escape Fumu's stream of questions, Kirby murmured quietly to Meta Knight, in perfect English.

"_You__ know,__ she__** is **__pretty __annoying_."

The knight sighed heavily, and whispered back, "_Oh,__ she__** is**__,__ Kirby.__ She__** is**__._"

"_Oh yes indeed_."

_**END**_

**Author's Notes: AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! I finally finished this thingy! Finally! Finally!  
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